


Mayhem, Incarnate

by shybob



Category: Allstate Insurance "Mayhem" Commercials, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-28
Updated: 2014-07-28
Packaged: 2018-02-10 18:09:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2034927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shybob/pseuds/shybob
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Charley Dixon was in a very bad situation. He might just have to make a deal with the devil. Takes place after TtSCC 2.20 “To the Lighthouse” and post-Chosen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mayhem, Incarnate

Charley Dixon tried to scream from the excruciating pain of the gunshot wounds in his chest, but his mouth filled with saltwater. As his vision faded he struggled to keep his head above water. Men with guns were after John Connor. He had to help John. He had to-

The darkness receded. And most of the pain.

“My, oh my,” A horned and bearded creature dressed in ornate robes stared at Charley thoughtfully. 

“The fuck?” Charley didn’t know whether to be more concerned with the horned apparition, or the fact that he was living and breathing.

The creature spoke again. “I haven’t felt hatred and desperation like this for centuries.”

“Are...are you the Devil? Am I in Hell,” Charley whispered.

“No, I’m not Lou, although my kind are often referred to as demons. Labels are so limiting, don’t you think?”

Charley squashed his impulse to run screaming. “So who are you?”

“I am D'Hoffryn, Lord of Arashmaharr. And I know who you are Mr. Charley Dixon. Your immortal soul cries out in anguish.”

“Uh, if we aren’t in Hell, where are we?” 

“This is a waiting room, of sorts. This isn’t Hell because you aren’t quite dead—yet.”

Charley took a deep breath blew it out, forehead creased in thought. “So, I’m guessing you want something from me. Like my soul.” 

“My dear Mr. Dixon, don’t think of it as what I want from you, think of it as what I can do FOR you. I...manage...people with very specific skill sets.”

“Prostitution?”

The demon chuckled. “Nothing so gauche. Think of it as private contracting. We’re not the good guys, nor the bad; we work in other areas, other aspects.”

“Like what? Evil lawyers?” Charley had more than his fill of ambulance-chasers over the years.

“My purview is Vengeance. Righting the scales, so to speak.”

“Not justice?”

“No, Mr. Dixon. Tell me, how many times have you seen your justice system fail? Watched rapists given a slap on the hand? Known murderers set free on a technicality? No, we definitely do not deal in justice.”

Charley scowled because he knew the demon was right. He’d seen justice fail too many people. “What do you want me to do? I’m just a guy.” 

“Your focus and rage make you quite more than ‘just a guy,’” D’Hoffryn replied. “I will give you great power and you will help right the scales—as you see fit. Think of it as karmic payback. You will feel wronged people crying out for vengeance and you will wreak mayhem on their tormentors.”

“And if I refuse?”

D’Hoffryn traced a flaming circle in the air. The magic window showed a pier with dead bodies floating in the water around it. It zoomed in one of the bodies, shot multiple times, floating face down in the water. “I’ll just put you back where I found you, 99% dead in the water. Soon to be 100%, never be able to influence the world again.” The demon enunciated the last part very clearly.

Charley only had to think it over for a second. He’d give anything to have a chance to be back in the world, just to have the chance to help John or Sarah one more time. “I’m in.”

D’Hoffryn pulled a scroll from somewhere, along with a pen. “Please sign this contract. Initial here, here, and here. Sign here. And yes, the pen is using your blood for ink.”

As soon as Charley finished the final signature he was wracked with agony. He fell to his knees and screamed as his soul was torn from his body. When the pain receded Charley stood, now dressed in a suit, with all his wounds were healed.

D’Hoffryn nodded at his handiwork, then addressed his newest minion. “I dub you ‘Mayhem.’”

“So now what?”

“Your suit is not just clothing; it is your power center. It protects you and gives you special abilities. It cannot be truly destroyed as long as you wear it, but don’t ever let anyone take it from you. Now go forth and answer the call of vengeance. Spread mayhem!”

In the years that followed, Mayhem ranged far and wide. And if it befell SkyNet’s forces quite a bit more often than the Resistance, D’Hoffryn never commented on it. Terminators never cried out for vengeance, after all.

FIN

 

* * *

Youtube playlist of Mayhem’s work here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_iIgsU4esg

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all associated characters are property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy Productions, and Warner Brothers. Terminator: the Sarah Connor Chronicles and all associated characters are property of C-2 Pictures and Warner Brothers Television. Mayhem is property of Allstate, Leo Burnett, and Northbrook.


End file.
